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Caring for the Caregiver

An important consideration of being a caregiver is being able to address your own emotional and physical needs. It's difficult to care for another person especially if you're not caring for your own needs. A common obstacle for many caregivers is their inability to ask for help. The upbringing of a person can influence how people perceive their role as caregivers. For example, older persons are inclined to take on caregiver responsibilities without asking for help. They've been taught not to ask for help and that it's their responsibility to take care of their own needs.

Cultural differences can also determine how effective a caregiver is in mobilizing the necessary resources to assist them with caregiving. Caregivers can perceive themselves as a burden to their family or friends and would rather not "bother" them with such matters. Unfortunately this approach can be unhealthy and leads to further isolation of the caregiver.

An effective way to engage the assistance of family and friends is to be as specific as possible regarding your needs. People are often well intended by making statements such as "if there is anything I can do just let me know". Unfortunately they really don't know what to do unless you instruct them.

Caregiving is not an easy task and therefore requires that you take good care of yourself. If you are not careful you can easily begin to ignore your body's warning signs that a long overdue break or respite is necessary. The following common sense suggestions can help you through these tough times.

• Remember to eat and sleep properly. It is important for you to keep up your strength during this time with well-balanced meals and sufficient rest.
• Take care of your own health needs. Procrastination or putting off physical problems only increases the potential dangers of caregiver burnout.
• Find someone you can share your feelings with during this time. This may be a close friend or a member of your church. Sometimes just having a listening ear can be all the help that you need to make it through another day.
• Incorporate exercise into your daily routine. Not only will it help you with your energy level but will also help you fight off stress.
• Take time for yourself. We all need to regenerate our batteries. Attempt to get a respite break from your caregiving duties long enough to enjoy a day out.
• Seek professional help if necessary to deal with any emotional problems that you may be experiencing as a caregiver. There are numerous types of support groups available that might also assist you with information and a supportive network of people going through the same issues as you.
• Approach caregiving one day at a time. It's the small accomplishments that will reinforce your confidence to push forward when things are tough.

Caregiver Profile

So what is the "typical " profile of a caregiver? The majority of caregivers are female and often become isolated from their family or friends. This isolation may often be a direct result of "embarrassing" behaviors exhibited by the affected person or an inability to effectively network with family or friends.

When these behaviors occur, especially in public or in front of family or friends, they can create uneasiness on the part of the caregiver. Feelings of awkwardness on the part of family and friends may also cause them to pull away and eventually distance themselves from the caregiver. Family and friends with the best of intentions are sometimes at a loss of not knowing what to do to help you. This perceived lack of support by the caregiver could easily be misinterpreted as "they don't really care."

Primary Tasks - What to Expect

Caregivers may provide a number of different functions during the course of caregiving and may never have had experience with some of these areas. The primary tasks that caregivers take on include the following:

• Provision of direct care - activities of daily living (bathing, feeding, clothing)
• Tending to the personal needs and concerns of the person
• Interacting with family and friends
• Social and health care networking
• Providing a safe environment
• Being a personal support system for the person
• Caring for the finances
• Caring for the personal property
• Providing/arranging transportation needs
• Taking care of household duties
• Caring for oneself

Many caregivers are reluctant to ask for help and often need a "listening" ear as a means of support. Caregivers who do not have adequate support systems are usually at-risk for experiencing stress and may also be a high risk for depression. The initial stress that is placed on the caregiver can sometimes be guarded or overshadowed by denial. Denial can occur with both the person being cared for as well as the person providing the care.

Caregivers who are faced with sudden role changes as a result of an injury to a person or an acute disease are often in denial. This denial may last for a short period of time or may go on throughout the course of caring for the person. Some of the more common reasons associated with caregiver denial include the following:

• The severity of the person's illness (a hope that it's not as serious as it may appear)
• Immediacy of the need to take action (maybe the problem will get better in time)
• Responsibility and the new roles that the caregiver will take on (anger on the part of not being able to fulfill retirement plans)
• Role reversal anxiety or a perception of inadequacy/inability (lack of confidence or familiarity in roles that have previously been done by the person you're caring for)
• Medical prognosis is not accurate or over exaggerated (maybe test results are inaccurate)
• Fear of lost relationship & companionship
• Persons inability to perform and function as "normal"

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