<previous  |  browse  | next>

(Page 3)

Warning Signs of Caregiver Stress

The following warning signs are usually indicative of caregiver stress and may lead to more serious problems for the caregiver if allowed to run their course. They include:

Sometimes these signs are very subtle and may not appear to cause you any discomfort or long term problems. Serious attention to these signs should be taken when the caregivers capacity to function is altered. Some caregivers under stress may even begin exhibiting physiological changes. Some of these manifestations include digestive complications, heart conditions, increased blood pressure, fatigue, tension headaches and many more. Caregiver stress may also lead to difficulty with sleeping and eating habits and can have devastating effects on the caregiver if allowed to run their course.

Family Conflict Cycle

As if caregiving isn't tough enough a compounding problem occurs when there are existing conflicts within the family. Maybe the issue stems from one person "not doing their fair share of the caregiving." Or maybe it's caused by the distant family member that is always highly critical of every thing that is done but refuses to fulfill their own responsibilities of helping out. These family members are usually the first to criticize and the last to offer assistance. What about the caregiver whose expectation is beyond the ability of the family members to meet and therefore is never happy with what they can do? Or how about the caregiver that uses the old making them feel guilty trick?

Another important element of caregiving is the previous relationship between the two parties. How do you feel when the person you have to care for hasn't been the nicest person in your life and you haven't really been close? Or what about the dominant member who always has to have it their way! Do any of these character's sound familiar? Don't feel alone. Many caregivers and families at one time or another have to deal with these situations.

Family conflict can also arise when there are misunderstandings regarding the real needs and desires of both parties. What are the truly desired needs on the part of the caregiver and what contribution does the family member offer? Sometimes these differences can be miles apart creating even more tension between the two parties.

One of the more common conflicts originates when caregivers seek a "listening ear" from their family members. The caregiver's real needs are to seek and obtain affirmation of the "burden" that they are under. Believing to be supportive of the caregivers desires and needs, the family members respond by giving advice and offering problem-solving solutions. This so-called "sound" advice or "backseat coaching" is rejected simply because it didn't meet the intended needs of the caregiver. The family's misread of the caregiver can distance the two parties and often leads to one or the other parties "entrenching" in their position.

Caregiving: Helpful Attributes

There are certain attributes that if mastered can assist the caregiver with dealing with the day to day stresses associated with caring for another. Having the right attitude and feeling about your role as a caregiver is probably one of the most important things that you can do for yourself.

Certain characteristics or traits allow some caregivers to "weather" the storm of caregiving better then others. Successful coping requires:

• Belief in oneself/ faith
• Energy to push forward
• Commitment/ organized plan
• Health/self care
• Social skills
• Support system
• Resources

One of the most difficult emotional feelings that caregivers are faced with during the course of being a caregiver is second-guessing whether they've done the right thing. It's important that they realize that they've done their very best even though things may not have turned out the way they had planned. You can often help them get through these tough times by offering words of encouragement and support.

Providing Caregiver Support:
What you can do to help others.

If you currently know someone that is providing care for another person chances are they are in need of some type of help. Here is where you can make a difference! Categorically there are a number of different ways that you can be helpful. These include providing:

1. Emotional Support (Be concerned and lend a listening ear)
2. Spiritual Support (pray for the caregiver and extend the resources of the church to assist them)
3. Provide Informational Support - Helpful resources
4. Direct Service (Offer respite for the caregiver or offer help with house chores, groceries, etc.)
5. Social Support (Offer the caregiver a means to engage in meaningful outlets)

It's also important to stay in touch with the caregiver. A simple phone call each week to check in and see how they are doing can go a long way. Remember small things do matter. Don't offer your assistance if you are not going to follow through with your promise.

Helping others especially those requiring "hands on care" isn't for everyone. You may feel uncomfortable or unqualified caring for someone that has special needs. Maybe you're thinking that there really isn't anything that you can do to help. Think again! The possibilities are endless. Take the initiative to ask the caregiver specifically what their needs are. There may be errands that need attending too or yard work that needs to be done. How about offering you're support for outside repair work? If you're preparing a meal how about cooking a little extra and running it over to the caregiver? Last, but not least, be an ENCOURAGER!

<Page 1>  <Page 2>
 

<previous  |  browse  | next>