| Caregiving Combating Hopelessness and Grief |
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By Danny Cain Combating Hopelessness and Grief There's an old saying that goes like this, "live your life to the fullest today for there's no guarantee for tomorrow". There is a lot of truth to this statement. Unfortunately, we make a lot of plans on how we're going to live out our lives in those "golden" years of retirement only to be greatly disappointed by an unexpectant illness or even the death of a spouse or loved one. It happens all too often. Couples work themselves tirelessly so that they can really enjoy retirement without financial worry. "Just one more year so that I can get my full benefits paid" is the logic they use to delay this long awaited moment in their life. And what do you know? One of the two is diagnosed with a terminal illness or even dies unexpectantly. Or maybe it's the care of another family member or even a child who now becomes the focus of their time and energy. We spend years of intense planning, dreaming and anticipation for retirement, which inevitably ends up being for nothing. When life's plans go off course our normal reaction can manifest itself into a state of anger, despair, hopelessness, depression, resentment and even grief! We ask ourselves "Why me Lord?" "What did I do to deserve this?" "What about all those plans that we made?" Reactionary comments such as these are very normal and expected in a crisis situation or when caring for a debilitating disease or ailment. However, our outlook and how we handle these tough times is critical to how successful we are with dealing with these issues. This article will focus on the various emotions and feelings of being a caregiver and how important it is to understand and gain control over feelings such as hopelessness and grief. If allowed to run their course without proper intervention these feelings can take a strangle hold on the caregiver and potentially dominate their outlook on life. First, lets begin by discussing the overall implications of both hopelessness and grief on the caregiver. Hopelessness is often defined, as an emotional state in which a person (in this case a caregiver) feels that life is too much for them to handle. Maybe this feeling is thrust upon them by their new role as a caregiver. There are so many new tasks and responsibilities that must be addressed. Relationship roles that must be mastered and that are totally unfamiliar to the caregiver. And what about the unique dynamics of a caregiver whose new role has been placed upon them even though their relationship with the person they are caring for has been less then perfect in the past? |