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For the caregiver who is experiencing hopelessness, there appears to be no foreseen options or possibilities that his/her life will improve any time soon. In fact, there is this perceived feeling that no matter what happens things just aren't going to get better any time soon. Understandably so since caregiving can require an incredible amount of personal commitment, dedication and sacrifice.

As a support group leader for the local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association I would often observe caregivers that expressed a strong degree of hopelessness in their role as a caregiver. Verbal expressions of their feelings during support group meetings included comments such as: 

    "I might as well give up because I don't know how I'm going to make it." 
    "There's no use in trying I can't seem to do anything right." 
    "What did I do to deserve this?" 
    "Things never worked out the way we had planned them." 
    "Today's hard enough without thinking about what might happen
        tomorrow." 
    "I know there's no hope in trying, he'll never get any better." 
    "What's the use? I might as well give up."

These comments often reflected the degree of doom and perceived failure on the part of the caregiver. Their outlook on life and the future in particular looked cloudy at best without any hope of getting better. It's important to understand that a person who feels hopeless perceives that there are no real possible solutions to their problems even though they may be in total control of their life and be in a position to make actual changes. Powerlessness, which I consider to be the opposite of hopelessness, is when a caregiver may see a viable option to their problems but doesn't have the control or resources to do anything about it. It's important to understand the underlying difference between powerlessness and hopelessness.

Feelings of hopelessness can also effect one's physical, cognitive (thinking abilities), emotional and psychological well being. Hopelessness is commonly related to grief, depression and even suicide. Physical manifestations of hopelessness may include lack of energy or vigor, increased sleep, slowed responses to situations, and weight loss.

Emotionally the person may become depressed, exhibit slowed thought processes, have a pessimistic outlook on everything, lack internal drive or desire, become apathetic, lack the ability to take on or fulfill personal responsibilities, and may even begin exhibiting a "giving up" mentality. Psychologically, the person may feel emptied or drained, helpless, inadequate, incompetent, and may express a real lack of meaning or purpose to their life.

Like hopelessness, grief can also be a big obstacle for caregivers to overcome. Caregivers often experience multiple cycles of the grieving process while caring for the needs of a loved one. This is especially true when the person they are caring for has a debilitating disease or is unresponsive due to their disability or illness. A caregiver of an Alzheimer's patient once shared with me that caring for her husband was like caring for a "skeletal reminder of a person who once was". That quote to this day vividly draws a picture through my head what this woman must have felt caring for her husband for so many years.

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